I have always loved writing.
The wonderful thing about my Live-Journal is that no one knew about it and it was still public. I wrote about my frustrations, my fears, my achievements... but I was still vague in case someone ever stumbled upon it. When I kept up with my Live-Journal blogging was a daily thing and it was the perfect outlet.
I still go back to my Live-Journal now and then, not to revisit painful memories, but to revisit the writing. It was so much better back then...
Then I discovered Blogger and its versatility. I have always loved graphic arts and this venue allowed me to dabble with that. The downside is that my writing became more accessible and next thing I knew, I was holding back.
I want to write this... No, I can't. Maybe this person will read it, and get insulted. No, I can't. It's offensive to some. No, I can't. [Insert valid reason].
About a year ago I had a rather interesting and uncomfortable incident right about when I had difficulty finding a lab in grad school. When I finally found one that allowed me to rotate in it, the PI specifically stated that he did not want his lab or any of its members mentioned in a blog. That sounded really strange to me, but I realized I had vented about certain recent events on my Live-Journal (I had revisited Live-Journal given the circumstances). A few days earlier a fellow grad student had e-mailed expressing concern for me and my current state in grad school. She said she had read my blog (I thought, this blog). Then it clicked. My Facebook account has links to both, this and live-journal. What I wrote in my Live-Journal regarding grad school, and certain people wasn't.... *ahem*.... nice. She had read my Live-Journal and somehow the word had spread.
I know. Me stoopid. I took certain precautions with Facebook and by changing this blog's url. Nonetheless, writing still has never been the same. For the last year, even though I've had the time, my blog has been mostly neglected.
I thought.... Maybe it's the layout. I should add marshmallows! But, it's not the layout. Who cares if a blog is pretty if its content is plain? The content of my blog has been plain to me.
And I know it's because you know who is writing. Yes, I'm quirky, I'm weird. You should know that by now with my love for science, my PhD [non]adventures, etc... This next part is going to be... awkward.
I know I have a few followers (like two) that read this blog because of what I write and not because of who I am. Because they are strangers! I think they deserve to know where I'll end up.
Everyone else, I'm so sorry... I need this. I need my anonymity for my writing to be what it was. If somehow you stumble upon my blog again and figure out it is me, then you are awesome :) For now, it has been fun.
PS - Ain't it funny how most people go "I'm going private!" While I'm saying, "I'm going Anonymous!" Heh... No? Ok.